.

closer than you think


We are closer to God than we think we are but perhaps not in the way we assume.

⁣⁣I used to think God had a weak gag reflex when it came to my failing and failing short as if he was constantly pinching his nose and trying not to heave in front of me.

⁣⁣I thought, ludicrously, that I had anything to do with how near God would draw beside me, as if I had the ability to control the actions of a wild and unpredictable beast, prowling around me with heavy breaths of mercy and unreserved affection.

⁣⁣God is close to the broken hearted and he’s close to anyone who wants a fight. Both lead us to collapse before him, unrehearsed and unrestrained. Both forsake facade and self righteous pomp, both lead to proximity.⁣⁣

(Gen 32)
One night I wrestled with God until the dawn broke mid brawl. He tackled me to the ground and it felt like Everest collapsed upon me. ⁣I chocked Him out with a guillotine grip and I swear I saw him tap his fingers on my hip, pleading for mercy. ⁣⁣I told him I’d only let him go if he blessed me and with an exasperated, desperate tone he replied “What blessing do you desire?”.

⁣⁣I need a blessing that would lead me to remember simple truths,⁣

I need a blessing that reminds me I am not defined by what I do,

⁣I need a blessing that wakes me up to the nearness of You,

⁣I need a blessing that helps me live like all of this is true.

Joshua Luke Smith

  • We encourage you to take to your journal or write out your thoughts and prayers today.
  • Reflect and pray into the words of John 5 this morning:
    “When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?” What do you you need from Jesus?
  • Reflect and pray into the story of Genesis 32:
    “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” Where do you need to draw near? What do you need from God?