We are closer to God than we think we are but perhaps not in the way we assume.
I used to think God had a weak gag reflex when it came to my failing and failing short as if he was constantly pinching his nose and trying not to heave in front of me.
I thought, ludicrously, that I had anything to do with how near God would draw beside me, as if I had the ability to control the actions of a wild and unpredictable beast, prowling around me with heavy breaths of mercy and unreserved affection.
God is close to the broken hearted and he’s close to anyone who wants a fight. Both lead us to collapse before him, unrehearsed and unrestrained. Both forsake facade and self righteous pomp, both lead to proximity.
One night I wrestled with God until the dawn broke mid brawl. He tackled me to the ground and it felt like Everest collapsed upon me. I chocked Him out with a guillotine grip and I swear I saw him tap his fingers on my hip, pleading for mercy. I told him I’d only let him go if he blessed me and with an exasperated, desperate tone he replied “What blessing do you desire?”.
I need a blessing that would lead me to remember simple truths,
I need a blessing that reminds me I am not defined by what I do,
I need a blessing that wakes me up to the nearness of You,
I need a blessing that helps me live like all of this is true.
– Joshua Luke Smith
- We encourage you to take to your journal or write out your thoughts and prayers today.
- Reflect and pray into the words of John 5 this morning:
“When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?” What do you you need from Jesus?
- Reflect and pray into the story of Genesis 32:
“I will not let you go unless you bless me.” Where do you need to draw near? What do you need from God?